Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
