And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
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There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
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You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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