just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
