Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
