halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
