Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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