youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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