They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize