just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize