Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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