It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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