I got chris browned last night
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Randomize