I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
