hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
