They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
