But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
you didnt know i had herpes?
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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