OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
