i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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