i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
operation have a gay friend backfired
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
