i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
