All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
farters have to be the big spoon...
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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