a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize