he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
