I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
if only i could text you this smell
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
