Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
