we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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