I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball