It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..