I think i peed on brittanys purse
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
I am invincible.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots