did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.