smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
