oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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