Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
