how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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