Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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