Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
