Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
