Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
