there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize