Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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