We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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