Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize