For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
