Christians are straight up FREAKS
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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