Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Randomize
