i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
