I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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