Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
