So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
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He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
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When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
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