The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
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