I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
