there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I understand Curling. That high.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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