So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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