did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
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