i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
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