I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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