He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
she peed on how many people?
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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